Who Am I Now? Reclaiming Identity After a Role Change

Let’s be real for a minute. Somewhere along the road of motherhood, caregiving, career-juggling, and late-night Costco runs, we lost track of something pretty important: ourselves.

And now… the kids are gone, the job has shifted, or maybe the person who once needed you every hour of the day doesn’t anymore—and you’re left staring into the mirror thinking, “Okay… so who exactly am I now?”

Spoiler alert: that question doesn’t mean something’s gone wrong. It means you’re becoming.

Your Brain Isn’t Broken—It’s Rebooting

When I sold my cleaning company and became a full-time stay-at-home YMCA soccer mom, complete with a minivan and a mean snack rotation, I thought I’d enjoy the slower pace. But I quickly found myself thinking, “What just happened to me?”

I went from “Marybeth the business owner” to “Mom with a folding chair and a box of Cheez-Its,” and even though I loved being there for my kids—I missed the identity I had built. I wasn’t sure who I was without the title, the invoices, and the sense of ownership.

At the time, I didn’t realize my brain was trying to reorganize its entire operating system. The neural pathways built around leading a business were still firing, but the routines and roles were gone. It felt like a glitch—but it was actually a grace-filled reboot. God was creating space for something new. I just didn’t see it yet.

You’re Still You—But With More Room to Breathe

You are not a resume. You’re not a title. You are His workmanship—fearfully, wonderfully, intentionally made.

Before you were ever a mother, wife, professional, or caretaker—you were His. That hasn’t changed. But your season has. And with that comes an invitation: not to reinvent, but to reconnect with who God designed you to be.

So what do you do when your role is shifting and your identity feels wobbly?

Here’s How to Steady Your Soul in the Unraveling

1. Use “I Am Becoming…” Language

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Instead of saying, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” try:
➡️ “I am becoming someone who listens for God’s next assignment.”
➡️ “I am becoming someone who creates space for peace.”

This simple shift engages the front of your brain (the good decision-making part) and turns anxiety into curiosity.

2. Try One New Thing

Take a new walking route. Try a journaling app. Sign up for that pottery class you’ve bookmarked five times. Small actions help your brain create new circuits—and each new pathway is a vote for your next chapter.

3. Go Strengths-Digging

Pull out a journal (or a voice memo app if journaling feels like too much) and reflect:

• What did I love before I was so needed?
• When do I feel most alive?
• What would I do with one free afternoon and no guilt?

These aren’t fluff questions. They’re rewiring prompts for a grounded, joy-filled sense of self.

🙏 Your Value Hasn’t Expired

Listen, you’re not invisible—you’re being re-seen.
Not by what you do, but by the One who made you.

Your roles may shift. Your routines may change. But your identity—rooted in Christ—is still intact. This isn’t the end of your story. It’s just a new chapter with a little more whitespace.

So take a deep breath, release the need to have a Pinterest-worthy “after,” and instead say:

“Lord, I’m listening. Let’s become together.”

Want Help Navigating the In-Between?

We created a FREE download just for you:
7 Questions to Help You Pivot Through Life’s Transitions
It’s short, powerful, and full of the kind of clarity that only comes from slowing down with God.

📘 Ready to go deeper?
Check out our full course: Pivot Points: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Change, Growth, and Purpose Beyond Midlife.

💬 And hey—drop a comment: Who are you becoming in this season?

Let’s keep walking—faith-first, brain-smart, and side-by-side.

With you in the pivot,
Terry and Marybeth